they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
