I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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