Having a random hookup so left but love u
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
