I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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