So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
