Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
