i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
