i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
