I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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