and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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