I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
