butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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