i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
