i would punch a child for taco bell
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Randomize
