Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
