To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
