After last night, I could never be a politician.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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