Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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