hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
