So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
