She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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