It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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