my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
