It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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