What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
