Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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