it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
