The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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