ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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