awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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