I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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