tell your sister to shave her snatch
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
it's like iHOP with fire
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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