Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
