we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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