is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
