This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Farmville is her only friend.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
