My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
