god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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