very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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