im so drunk with asians
where?
always
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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