You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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