and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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