That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
