Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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