So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
