my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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