So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I touched a dick in church today
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
