'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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