She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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