i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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